Train of Fools

I admit that the misery I experienced on the famous Northern Explorer 11-hour ride from Auckland to Wellington, New Zealand may have partly been my own doing. First, I stupidly ignored the printed information and got it into my head that the train would leave Auckland at 7AM. Imagine my surprise after getting up at 5AM, arriving at a deserted station at 6 AM to find that the ticket office (in which seats would be assigned) didn't open until 6:30 and the train was actually scheduled to leave at 7:45! Imagine Emma's reaction!

Also my allergy was acting up and I was coughing - the kind that hurts the ears and throat.
 Nevertheless, there are plenty of objective facts to support the view that this "scenic wonder" is vastly exaggerated. Here is the only scene I saw in the whole time which I would consider exceptional:

 Is this worth sitting for eleven hours in non-reclining seats? Seats facing other people with a narrow table between - or just two alone with less space than on Amtrak? And narrow aisles. Yes the car had big windows and lots of light but so what?

 As an additional cruelty the railroad bans alcohol, except what you buy on the train. This meant we had to smuggle our white wine in water bottles and consume them in paper coffee cups. But alcohol did not alleviate the suffering.

 

The only worthwhile feature was a completely open car directly behind the locomotive in which passengers could stand and see the scenery directly.

But this was enjoyable more for relief from the seats than pleasure from the scenery - which was mostly, at first, hours of suburban and semi-industrial blandness of the kind which can be seen anywhere and then - endless rolling hills sprinkled with sheep but no shepherds and cows without cowboys. 

I think halfway decent scenery didn't start until the halfway mark and, even then, was not that great. I recall the ridiculous gasps of surprise and desperate expressions of pleasure when the train passed a mediocre waterfall.

There was a cafe car with drink and food which supplied our breakfast of coffee and an egg sandwich with greens and a good microwaved chicken meal later on. It was a welcome refuge from our seats when one of it meager five tables was available.

I would say the best part of the trip was getting information from our well-traveled Swiss seat-companions, Peter and Gabrielle from Basel, about a two-week freighter cruise in the Marquesas Islands. By the way, they agreed with us about the train trip. I tip my hat to them.

 To conclude, here's a picture of the Aranui 5, the freighter which takes passengers on a cruise in the Marquesas. This looks interesting.