Once More Unto The Beach, Dear Friends, Once More

In the beginning we thought it might be possible to see Australia, New Zealand, Fiji and French Polynesia in one fell swoop. But weeks of research eventually led us to conclude it was impossible - at least, impossible for us to do properly in one month. Australia is too big and it would be jellyfish season (some quite dangerous) on the Great Barrier Reef, one of the places we had hoped to snorkel. New Zealand alone would be silly without Australia. And nothing combined well with Fiji or French Polynesia. They are in the middle of nowhere. So we decided to stick to French Polynesia, reaching it by an 8 1/2 hour flight from Los Angeles and then visiting seven of its islands, using Air Tahiti. Leaving March 3rd, returning April 3rd.

Two engines are better than one

The International Date Line plays a role in this trip. I think I've figured it out somewhat. If we leave New York at 5PM on Thursday, March 3 and take five hours to get to Los Angeles, wait for three hours and then leave at midnight for an 8 hour flight to Papeete, we have consumed about 16 hours since we left NY and it should be 9 AM on Friday morning, March 4 in Papeete. Wait a minute, that's about what it should be! No, something's wrong, that "midnight" departure from LA is actually 3AM, meaning the 8 hour flight gets us in at 11AM (7AM Papeete time because they are five hours behind) But it's still Friday! Weren't we supposed to lose a day - or is it gain a day? I give up! 


The deciding factor in choosing islands (except for the need for a few days of adjustment time at the very beginning in Papeete on the island of Tahiti) was finding the best snorkeling. For us that means the easiest access to a rich reef, preferably right off the beach (the snorkeling version of "ski-in, ski-out") or by only a short boat ride in relatively calm waters. (The picture below is actually from Fiji.)

The variety of life, form and color in a stock photo can be amazing

Sometimes we will have to take a boat from the island airport where we land to get to the island where we are staying (indicated in parentheses.) After Papeete the planned sequence is Rangiroa and Tikehau (Ninamu) in the Tuamotu group, then Bora Bora, Raitea (Vahine). Huahine and Moorea.

All the places where we will stay have been chosen and paid for. We had to do this because some of them are the only resorts on tiny islands and only have a handful of rooms.

Special equipment includes my snorkel mask with prescription lenses and fins with an adjustable band at the back of the open heel, making them easier to put on, especially if one is wearing neoprene "socks" for walking on stones and difficult surfaces before actually snorkeling.

We will take plenty of insect repellent because the hot and rainy season runs from November to April.

Laptop. Check! Medicine. Check! Small flashlights. Check! Sunhat. Check! Sun lotion. Check! Sunglasses. Check! Camera. Check! Batteries. Check! Camelbak™ Water Purifier. Check! (Although good bottled water should be available everywhere, this sometimes comes in handy.) Photocopies of passport and credit cards. Check! Reading material. Check! The passport itself! Check!

Finally, in anticipation of some nights in some places where we may pray for a fan, I'm taking a Travelon 3-Speed Folding Fan, a tiny thing which weighs 6 oz. without the four AA batteries on which it can supposedly run for many days.

Here's my logical way of calculating exactly how many days of real relaxation/vacation are included in this trip. A day on which one travels from one place to another cannot be counted as a vacation due to packing, going through the security check, traveling, unpacking and all the associated stress including getting a parting bill much larger than you calculated and a bungalow in the jungle instead of the one on the beach for which you asked. That eliminates seven or eight days right away. Then at least 10% of the days will have rainy, stormy weather which keeps everyone indoors. That's three more. On another 10%, conservatively, the weather will be so hot and humid one can't do anything, even sleep. Remember that only a few of the places we stay will have air-conditioning. So far we have 14 lost days. It is appropriate to add three more days for intestinal distress and at least five when the weather is superficially good but the tides or currents are not safe for snorkeling in the ideal place you want to snorkel. One more day for miscommunication with transportation and mechanical failures. That brings us up to twenty-three days. So it is fair to say that we will have only about a week of real vacation on a trip lasting approximately thirty days. Q.E.D.